Da Swamp News Vol. 7


Ogre Heero Kilt ##########################

Prissy elf lady Feereeowna and her friend Lyirae kilt ogre heero Ghargin Burnblock da other day. Someone tell meez dat day were engaged in a big glorious battle dat Rallos Zek himself would have been proud to come to. Den dat ranger took Ghargin down with a cheep arrow shot to da chest.

Da little prissy elfs fight cheep. Day gots no honer. So weez should all make sure dat we eats all da elfs dat we see cause day don’t fight fair.

Sum Dark Elfs Split ##########################

Dem dark elfs dat still follow dead dark elf lady Lanys T’Vyl tell meez dat day got demselfs a camp of dair own set up somewhere. Day no tell meez where it is though. Meez gotta wonder what day hope to get done by breakin off from Neriak like dat. Maybe day tink day are pioneers or somethin. Or maybe day just creepy like all dem dark elfs.

Wizard Gets Some Books ##########################

Someone tell meez dat book readin finger wigglin wizard Al’Kabor went over to da Plains of Karana. He talked to a bunch of people and then he made dem do all da work. So day went and talk to this gypsee hooman. And she made dem do her work too. So then these people kilt dis honking big eye-ball ting.

Someone tell meez dat after day kilt da honking big eye-ball ting the gipsee hooman gave these guys a box. And den day gave dis box to dat finger wiggler. And dat made him happy cause dair was a book in it. Or somethin.

Hoomans Set to Blow Demselfs Up ##########################

Someone tell meez dat da hoomans in Keenose are so tired of dat plague ting and dose diseased nomes eatin dair crops dat day are just going to blow up da Karana Plains and be done with it. Meez tink dis is a good idea.

 

Part 2

 

Lanys Messes with Stuff

Meez went to da mountains of rathe da udder day and it wuz filled woth nasty tings.

Someone tell meez dat it was da followers of da corpse formerly knowed as lanys T`Vyl dat did it.

I saw a big dragon dair too.

Meez decided to let it live.

Werewolves in Commonlands

Someone tell meez dat dair wuz a breakout of licant… lycenfro… Werewolf disease in da Western Commonlands.

Dair wuz lots of people infected but after people kilt da one werewolf dat made all da udder werewolfs everyone wuz ok.

So dat is gud I guess.

Hoomans said to be Stoopid

Someone tell meez dat over in everfrost, it got really warm for some reason.

Meez tink dat dose northerners should just get used to da wether and get over it.

Da northern hoomans are pretty big and tough so meez respect dat.

But dat don’t mean day still ain’t stoopid like da rest of da hoomans.

Hoomans said to be Stoopid

Someone tell meez dat dair wuz a bunch of skeletons and stuff attacking da city of keenos.

Meez tink dis is pretty funny.

Dose little skinny hoomans dat live dair in dat city need to be kilt anyway.

Meez wish da skeletons luck in dair seeg of dat stoopid hooman city.

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