Da Swamp News Vol. 6


Dark Elves do Creepy Stuff ##########################

Sumone tell meez dat dem dark elves did some creepy stuff with da body of dat one dark elf lady Lanys. Meez tink dat a soo-flay would have been better ting to do with da body. But dem elves dat wuz still loyal to Lanys, which meez tink is dumb cuz she dead and stuff. Um…

Oh yeah. But dem elves dat wuz still loyal to Lanys had her body but didn’t want to do anyting with it. But dose udder elves in Nair-E-Ack also wanted da body. So day sent sum peeple dair and did tricky stuff and managed to get da body back to Nair-E-Ack.

Me tink dat is creepy. Day waste good meat by putting it in da ground. Meez could unnerstand if day was fighting cuz day both wanted to eat da meat on it. But day wuz fighting cuz day both just wanted to put her in da ground.

Dat is just too creepy.

Feereeowna Vacations ##########################

Foofoo High Elf lady Feereeowna Vee took a trip to back to dat koonark place. Meez not sure why she went dair. Meez hope she gets eattin by a dragon.

If youse see her, make sure youse take her to a dragon. Maybe it will eat her. Dat would be good.

Guy with Tattoo Confronted ##########################

Dem stoopid hoomans in up in Keenos found dis guy hoose crops weren’t effected by da diseased gnomes dat are eating da plants up dair.

Turns out dat dis guy had a tattoo on his head or sumthin. And that is what made his crops grow so gud. Meez got a tattoo once but it meez never tried to grow nuthin.

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