Local Color – Halas   Leave a comment


Local Color – Halas
Second Edition

This book collects the colorful sayings of the barbarians of Halas

Don’t waste time thinking about doing something, just go out and do it!
Why fish for a single trout when you can jump in the water and grab an armful?

Don’t go smacking down a baby bear when you haven’t first looked around for its mamma.
Knowing this is what separates the men from the dead ones.

Booksmarts don’t feed you when the deep winter comes.
If you don’t believe that to be the truth, try filling your belly with a whole plateful of paper and see what that does for you!

If you get in a big row with your mate down at the pub, buy him a drink when the clobberin’s done.
This way he knows that you’re still a gentleman.

Don’t go testing your wife’s temper.
She puts up with more than enough from you to begin with, so there ain’t no need to add any insult to the injury you’re about to get.

When you’re painting a woad on your face, make sure it’s one that fits you.
Don’t think you’re gonna be another Tundra Jack and start painting your face all crazy.
You wanna instill fear in your enemy, not kill them by laughing them to death.

You only got two arms.
Don’t go trying to grab up five or six tusks from a Mammoth and think you’re gonna make it home all right.
All them blasted orcs are just waiting for a dumb barbarian carrying ten times his body weight to go crawling by.

The bigger they are the harder they fall.
That what Stumpy McGee always says when it comes to fighting Ice Giants, that is.

Fair words never made the pot boil.
Being polite is good only when you’re talking to your missus, but not out on the battlefield.
If you want to be a sissy, go spend time with those soft people living in Qeynos.

If you ever get in a fight with someone bigger than you, don’t back down.
First of all, there ain’t that many out there that are gonna actually be bigger then you.
And secondly, there ain’t room for two bigshots walking around the place.
There can only be you.

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Posted June 27, 2013 by Michael in Barbarian, Book, mobile, Qeynos

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